Baby Blues

I’m a first time mom and I have a very good support system. Yet, I’m still having anxiety and baby blues. They say it’s just really normal because of postpartum. My baby girl is just a month old today. She spent her first week in the NICU so my time with her during that time is very minimal. I’m only spending 3 hours a day to breastfeed her and to cuddle. After a week, we went home and our first night was kind of crazy, it was definitely a sleepless one! We are first time parents so my hubby and I are still learning things. He already asked her mother to help while I’m still recuperating.

To be honest, I love my MIL and she’s been very helpful but I can’t help myself crying whenever she’s around. She’s the one who sunbathe my child for the first time, she also bathe her, change her diapers, change her clothes… everything. All I did during the first week was to breastfeed then she will get the baby for burp time and to bring her to her crib.

I really feel worthless and I’m missing my baby so much even if she’s always few steps away. I know that she’s just trying to help and that I should be thankful. I’m trying to be objective so I won’t cry but I’m just really feeling sad and subjective.

In her third week, my MIL needed to go home so I got the chance to spend all the time with my baby along with her daddy, of course. Taking care of a newborn can be really tiring! I’m waking up every 2 hrs to breastfeed her, change diapers, bathe her, everything! But there’s no day I cried! I’m just so happy to take care of my child. The one I carried for 9mos and delivered. I just love cuddling her.

Now that my baby is on her 4th week, my MIL is back. I’m getting some time for cuddle now unlike before. I have yet to cry again but I’m just really hoping to spend alone time with my baby and her daddy. Again, my MIL is good, great even but I don’t want her here. I’d love to bring our child to them once in a while but I want my own space with the little family we just created. Am I selfish for feeling this way? 

Untitled II

you were dancing alone
or so you thought

you're enjoying the music
while most enjoy watching you

they are giving you hands
but you keep swaying yours in the air

you don't love the crowd
but someone from the crowd

Booking.com

I can't remember the last time I checked this blog. Nakakatawang basahin yung mga ganaps sa buhay ko before...nung college, to be specific.

Of course, ang dami ng ganaps pero kahit anong ganaps pa yan, for sure, babalik at babalik ako sa pagsusulat.

I missed venting out here whenever I'm upset, bored or irritated. Pwede ring kapag masaya. Madalas kasi naseset aside natin yung ibang bagay kapag masaya tayo.

As of the moment, bored lang talaga ako. I'm on 3rd day CCT Training for our new program. Jargoooon. Lol.

So ayun po, I'll keep myself busy (again). Ciao!

Si Juan sa Araw ng Halalan

Ninanais na pagbabagong makakamtan mula sa pagboto -- ang nasa isip ni Juan pagmulat ng mata para sa araw ng halalan.

Tiniis ang init, gayundin ang mahabang pila. Ilang oras na pila para sa bagong pamamahala.

May nag-abot ng sobre, laman ang salaping papawi sa ilang araw na pagkagutom. Ilang araw na kaluwagan kapalit ang ilang taong paghahari ng mga buwayang sabik sa kayamanan at kapangyarihan.

Napawi ang gutom ni Juan mula sa salaping kakabit ang pandaraya. Napawi rin ang nais na pagbabagong mananatili na lang sa isipan ni Juan.

TBT: The Speech I delivered for World Teachers' Day on October 5, 2010

     My little world expands when learning and virtues penetrate my humanity. Teachers continue to touch my inner world and they give meaning to my existence. Yes, teachers are just humans but they resemble the real heroes in what they can do to their students. Like heroes who give their lives to their country or people unselfishly, my teachers unselfishly share their knowledge. They are the heroes who save me from ignorance as experienced by those who had no chance to have good teachers in comparison.

     Years may have passed and yet those little skills keep on building up until I realize that I have become a teacher to others. In teaching I also learn and enjoy. Thus, I believe teaching must be a happy profession. Every minute I spend in a classroom seems an eternal time that I will treasure because I believe that learning is simply limitless. Of course, students also learn outside the classroom but the influence of the teachers are still there.

     My teachers are my supermen and wonderwomen. They inspire me to enhance my talents and abilities. On a lighter note, I learned to dance and sing and even swim along the way. My communication and interpersonal prowess were honed to perfection with the mastery of academic subjects like psychology, economics, management, accounting, finance, marketing and general education subjects.

     My teacher is my hero because he/she simply cannot let the day pass without leaving a deep sense of responsibility. I would like to believe that responsibility is one of the highest virtues which will help me to know the difference between knowledge and wisdom. I remember my parents having to convince me first that my teacher is wrong when something is at issue about a matter I learned in school. I would like to believe that teachers occupy the position not everybody else can occupy in molding people together with the latter's parents.

     Many years from now, I will look back to my school days and reminisce those days of tears and joy, of love and hate, of assignments and business day activities, and most of all, the faces of my serious and ever caring professors. Indeed, teachers are worth remembering. I can still remember my teachers since elementary - the gestures of their hands, the smiles written on their faces, and the yell of care. I have yet to know if there's a greater profession than being a teacher. There will be no doctors, lawyers, managers and engineers if there are no teachers behind them. Teachers tap my back to be better and to bring out the best in me.

     A time will come when I have to wave goodbye to my teachers. Yet, the knowledge and wisdom that they have implanted to me will not be wasted away but will continue to grow. By that time I would be functioning in many ways like a teacher because of the need to share knowledge and wisdom to everyone. Indeed, to be a teacher must be a great calling.

Yes, life is too short.

RIP Sir Elpidio Dela Cruz. Thank you for letting us spread our wings and grow as good writers. The lessons you have taught us are appreciated. Yes, we encountered problems but they just made us better persons. The school publication has never been the same again when somebody replaced you as our adviser. However, there's a purpose why that happened... and that was to teach us that we are not in a perfect society and we cannot control everything. But it also taught us that we are indeed uncomparable bullies! Thanks for everything and I thank God I've been under your supervision, may you rest in peace. 

"Nakakalungkot lang na hindi ka na pala namin makikita kahit sa wake lang. Hindi mo na mababasa yung magiging articles namin sa Manila Bulletin or sa Inquirer." :( 

PS: I uploaded a photo, as you can see below. Hanapin nyo si Sir! Haha! Ayan yung nasa Burnham Park tayo! :) 

FOR YOU

Facing each day without you

is harder than what I've thought.

I want to move and live life without you.

To forget everything we had and get the hell out of memories.

But I can't simply do that.

I don't want to face life not having you by my side.

I deeply miss you my love.

I thought time can ease the pain

but pain keeps on killing me.

I hope you're here beside me

and wipe my tears.

I love you, my guy.